I recently heard these words: "You would never disrespect a king's child to his face."
If you were visiting a faraway land ruled by a monarch with absolute authority, you would be careful what you say and do in his presence. There is very little chance that you would intentionally disrespect his child in front of him. Consider the repercussions. How would he respond? Would he ban you from his country? Would he be swift to put you in jail or worse? Would he ever respect you again?
If the thought of disrespecting a king's child brings such serious repercussions that we would try our best to never do such a thing, why is it that we disrespect the children of the most high King, the King of Kings, to His face all the time? I could focus on the way we speak to and interact with others, but I would like to take this in a different direction. If you have accepted Christ as your personal savior and are a follower of His, you are a child of the King. 1 John 3:1 says, "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are." Therefore, how you speak to yourself is how you are speaking to the child of the Kind. Would your attitude towards yourself be pleasing to Him?
Embracing Love
Mark 12:30-31 says this: "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself. ' There is no other commandment greater than these.”
When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandments were, he did not say, "thou shalt not commit murder" or "Thou shalt not commit adultery". He simply stated love God, love others, love yourself. This is restated in Romans 13: 9-10 when Paul states:
For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."
I have heard this preached in a manner that asserts as humans, we love ourselves more than anything in the world. Therefore, if we love others as much as we love ourselves, it will be a great love. But what if we don't love ourselves well? What if we don't embrace who we are in love? How then can we love others well?
Love Yourself First
Learning how to embrace and fully love one's self can be hard. I am harder on myself and place more pressure on myself than I do on anyone else. I am able to offer grace and forgiveness to others more readily than I can ever offer it to myself. I am my own worst critic.
In today's culture, we hear this sentiment a lot: "you owe yourself the love that you so freely give to other people." As a Christian, this statement could be interpreted in a multitude of ways, both positive and negative. I want to view it in this manner: You don't owe unconditional love to yourself because you innately deserve it, but you owe it to yourself because as a redeemed child of God, it is his portion to you. He tells us this time and again.
Proverbs 19:8a- "To acquire wisdom is to love oneself"
Colosions 13:4- And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
We must love ourselves first in order to love others. The important thing to consider is balance. It is important not to disrespect or degrade oneself. At this same time, it is important not to become prideful or boastful of one's self. We must remember, "For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. (Galatians 6:3). So as we continue on the path of learning how to love ourselves well, let us also ensure the motives for doing so are pleasing to God.
Why We Should Love Ourselves
Embracing how to love ourselves must be framed in God's design for us. We should love ourselves with a pure love that does not boast but follows what God tells us about why we should love ourselves. Here are a few reasons to love and embrace yourself:
Because God First Loved Us: We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
Because God Values Us: Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows. (Luke 12: 7)
Because God Finds No Flaw in His redeemed: You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. (Song of Solomon 4:7)
Because We are Commanded To: Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Col 3: 12-13)
How Should We Love Ourselves
Love what makes you unique because God made you that way on purpose: For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:13)
Love yourself for what is on the inside: 'But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Sam. 16:7)
Love Without Fear: There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18)
Be patient with yourself. Be Kind to Yourself: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
Embracing Yourself
We are each wonderfully made humans whom God loves more than we could ever comprehend. If the God of this universe embraces us and loves us, we should feel compelled to do the same, but what does this look like? Embracing yourself and loving yourself will look different for everyone, but here are a few ways to start:
Be kind to yourself. Words matter. Remember when we were children and said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me?" How untrue this actually is. Proverbs 18: 21 says "Death and life are in the power of the tongue". Talk kindly to yourself. Whether it is in your head, in a journal, or out loud. Speak truth and love to yourself. Neuroscientists have researched the topic, and it is proven that positive affirmations spoken to yourself lessen anxiety and depression and access the reward center of the brain. This part of your brain is so powerful it can reduce stress and even decrease physical pain. Again, words matter.
Be patient with yourself. God knows we are not perfect. He is not sitting on his throne waiting for us to mess up. However, he is there waiting for us to come to Him when we do mess up and give us advice on how to do better next time.
Don't place too much value on superficial aspects of who you are. Your body shape and size do not define you. There is a reason you are the way you are. While we are instructed to take care of the body God has given us, we should not place our self-worth in that body alone. Be a good steward of the body God has placed you in, remember it's a temporary home for your eternal soul, and find lasting things to embrace about yourself.
Embrace what makes you unique. There are 8 billion people in the world, and you are the only one with your specific fingerprints. Have you ever considered that? No one in history has the same fingerprints. How could this be possible? Because God made us each unique. If he cares enough about the unique design of the tips of your fingers, imagine the thought he put into every aspect of who you are. Embrace it all. Embrace the good and grow. Embrace where you fall short of God's design for you and ask Him for help in those areas.
Love yourself wholly. Love yourself well. God says you are worth it... and I agree.
References:
The Holy Bible. English Standard Version.
The Neuroscience of How Affirmations Help Your Mental Health. Debbie Hampton.
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